For 10 years, I was extremely anxious 90 percent of my waking hours. Obviously, I wasn’t conscious of this at the time, but looking back, the physical signs were clear. I bit my nails, had herpes every few weeks, smoked, had such stomach cramps that I couldn’t brush my teeth without feeling nauseous. But it seemed normal back then; that’s just how life was. My environment didn’t notice it either; I seemed like a calm guy. We see those who are outwardly stressed more easily than those who does it inwards.
I first started focusing on mindset development because I loved teaching and needed a topic from which to create truly exciting training sessions. It didn’t even think about that I could use this for my own development. Moreover, I didn’t think I needed to change anything about myself. This is how it happened that I allowed inside these mindset development ideas more than average because my only goal was to share them with others. This way, I bypassed the guard that ensures no information gets in that conflicts with my current personality, mindset, or carefully guarded self-image. When I realized that I could only teach this if I applied it to myself, I could no longer escape into the resistance of “not understanding.” Eight years ago, a process began that was initially extremely painful but filled with many aha moments and immediate successes that seemed like miracles, starting to transform my mindset, which inevitably brought significant changes to my personality as well.
Today, I feel many positive benefits from this, but most of them are immeasurable. I can’t know what my living conditions, daily activities, or human relationships would be like if I hadn’t done this. However, there is one factor that objectively shows the results achieved in mindset development, and that is the level of stress. The previously mentioned symptoms have disappeared, and bodily tensions sometimes indicate the old feeling. Of course, sometimes I unconsciously revert to the old mindset and create a stressful day. Now, this makes me smile because I see what I’m doing. Unconsciously, I rearrange my old belief system, raise my anxiety level, and feel that everything is against me and I can’t find a solution. Then I realize what’s happening, start to adopt useful perspectives, and restore order.
What’s important is that I didn’t use techniques or tools for the change but removed limiting beliefs from my mindset and replaced them with useful perspectives. Tools like various breathing techniques, mindfulness, cold therapy, exercise, massage, etc., are excellent for stress relief, but I’ve found that they mostly relieve stress only while we’re doing them, and at best, they have a residual effect afterward. However, I think it’s worth aiming to reduce our fundamental anxiety level, and I achieved this by transforming my mindset.
The first step is to honestly accept the viewpoint that stress is not caused by the environment but by the illusion of the environment in my head. This is not easy because I fundamentally blame something for the bad feeling and want to change that something to make the feeling disappear. However, it’s better to think that what I perceive does not directly cause the anxiety but that I unconsciously associate it with something from the past, which triggers a physical, emotional, and cognitive reaction. I can expect lasting change if I start to become aware of this process. First, I observe the process, then accept that I’m doing it. Acceptance means being with the feeling without negative labeling, not wanting to eliminate or suppress it. I consider it my own decision and curiously observe what I have decided. It’s okay to feel anything. Acceptance brings the possibility of a new decision. This approach may seem too theoretical at first, but in my experience, it is practical and leads to a life with less anxiety. I recommend everyone to practice this approach!